You'll Never Know, Dear, How Much I Love You

A few weeks ago, I noticed that Justin's pants were starting to become a little short. They are not quite flood stage, but the size 4 that was too long on him just last fall are not going to last him through summer. It's not just one brand, either, so I can't say that they run small - he has at least 3 different brand names in his closet. And I wash everything in cold water and don't dry them dry -- so I've crossed shrinking off the list. No, my boy is just getting taller.

So yesterday, I decided I would compare a new size 4 with a new size 5 to see how they stack up, lengthwise and waist-wise. There was probably an inch of difference in the ones I looked at, and since they had an adjustable waist, I bought one pair of size 5. I put them on him this morning and they fit great. Just a smidge long, but they don't drag the ground. On one hand, I was really proud of that -- he's getting so big and tall and handsome. But tonight, as I held him in my lap to sing songs before bed, I realized he's not a toddler any more. He's a full-fledged kid. He's about 41 inches tall, according to the marks on the wall at preschool. Since I'm only 5'2" myself, that means he's a mere 20-ish inches away from catching me. That's the length he was at birth. SOB!

As we were singing, he stopped me and said, "Mommy, you didn't sit next to me while I was watching Clifford. I need you to sit next to me tomorrow while I watch my show." Wow, buddy, you bet I do. I can't miss any more seconds to quickly check Facebook, or send an email, or see what the headlines are. You're growing up too fast on me and I need to hold on to every possible moment.

The last song I sing to him every night is "You Are My Sunshine". The words are just so appropriate for a parent to sing to a child:

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy,
When skies are gray.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.

He's not my only sunshine, as I have two of them. But it's so true, I never knew how much my parents loved me until I became a parent myself. As I sang the verse to Justin tonight, my voice broke. I hope he didn't notice, but I did hug him just a little tighter. When I was finished singing, I just held him tight for a minute. He said, "Mommy, tell me I'm your good boy."

Oh sweetie, you are Mommy's good boy. And you will never know just how much I love you.